The author of the classic “To Kill A Mockingbird” Harper Lee has shocked fans by admitting that her new novel will be a work of fan fiction based on characters from the popular “Twilight” vampire novels.
“I know people were hoping the book would be about the further adventures of lawyer Atticus Finch and his daughter Scout and that creepy kid who grew up to be Truman Capote”, said Lee in southern drawl as she relaxed on the tyre swing outside her mouldy wooden home. “But let’s face it, those characters were irreversibly desecrated once Bruce Willis started naming his kids after them and I’d much rather be writing about sparkly vampires.”
Early drafts of the work are full of chapters where a young man described very much like Twilight protagonist Edward Cullen spends many sweaty hours busting up chifforobes with an axe.
Meanwhile publishers in New York City have proudly announced that a new manuscript from reclusive author of “The Catcher In The Rye” JD Salinger has been found. It details the adventures of a prim young girl who goes to work for a mysterious Mr Grey and finds herself embroiled in a murky world of god damned phoneys and sado masochistic sex.