Cruel Birthday Card Lies About Having Cash Inside It

Public servant Warren Davison has been left devastated by a heartless birthday card that implied it contained a twenty dollar note but when opened contained only a cartoon drawing of a lobster along with a snide message.

“I’m always struggling for money so when the card that Johnno gave me said ‘Here’s a lobster to make your birthday one to remember’ I was genuinely thrilled”, said Davison, newly 29, of Greenacre. “I started thinking of all the nice things I could buy with a twenty dollar note. Imagine my disappointment when the card was empty.”

“At first I imagined that the money had fallen out of the card but I’ve now come to the conclusion that I’ve been the victim of a callous hoax by the author of the card, playing on the fact that lobster is both a slang term for an Australian twenty dollar note and a type of crustacean.”

Davison was far more hopeful of getting satisfaction from his next card.

“This should be nice”, he said, opening a card from Shelley who works at the front desk. “The cover implies that I’m not getting very old. I expect something uplifting and reassuring because I’m rather insecure about my age.”

Peter Green


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