One Finger Tired Of Carrying All The Shopping Bags

The middle finger on the right hand of Riverwood man Steven McCroskey is feeling exploited after having to take the weight of seven bags of groceries whilst McCroskey fumbled with his keys to get into the lobby of his unit block.

“The plastic is really cutting into my knuckle and I’m starting to turn dark purple”, claimed the finger as McCroskey carried his weeks shopping up the stairs to his third floor home unit. “It’s not as if it’s a light load. He’s bought a two litre bottle of orange and mango fruit juice drink and a whole bag of chat potatoes, not to mention the 700 grams of pre-slow cooked lamb shanks.”

“You need to twist the handle to open that lobby door while turning the key at the same time”, said McCroskey as he munched on one of the pink lady apples that were part of the load. “It’s really a two hand operation. I find it easier to keep hold of the bags rather than put them on the ground where the cage free eggs could spill out, but this does mean that poor old “Mr Tall” gets the lion’s share of the strain whilst I turn the handle with my thumb and my pointer.”

McCroskey later on rewarded his middle finger for its sterling work by allowing it to flip the bird at the driver of a Daihatsu Charade who cut him off on Canterbury Road as he drove to visit his mum.

Peter Green


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