Sharia law experts in Tehran are considering scrapping public stoning as the main method of capital punishment after they found it impossible to carry out the sentence on members of the Iranian national dodgeball team.
“These guys are way too good at getting out of the way of the stones”, said exasperated chief government rock hurler Ali Bagheri. “You just can’t land one on the bastards.”
The team was sentenced to death in March after their team bus accidentally ran over an Ayatollah Khomeini impersonator on the way to a match, a crime which carries the death penalty in the Islamic Republic.
There have been unconfirmed reports that Fahzi Ahmad, captain of the Iranian brandings team, had been drafted temporarily into the justice department to help solve the problem.