The family of accused criminal Tyson Smoko have vowed to continue their policy of roughing up reporters on their way into court in the hope that this will help convince the public that he is innocent of the crime.
“Nothing says that Tyson comes from a good home more than the sight of me and the missus attempting to knock the snot out of a few TV cameramen,” said Jock Smoko, father of the accused. “And of course we’ll keep on slagging off the relatives of the victim whenever they pass us on the street. Juries love that kind of thing.”
Tyson is accused of setting a grandmother on fire and pushing her down a flight of stairs.
“Tyson’s a good kid, and anyone who thinks otherwise is going to get their head smacked in,” said Smoko’s elder brother Saxon. “It’s that old lady’s own fault for getting in Tyson’s way when he had a can of kero and a box of matches in his hand.”
Prosecution lawyers will be presenting their final summing up of the case today. The Smoko family is expected to attend wearing matching tee-shirts with the message “The judge is a peanut” printed on the front.
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