A man from the shire has admitted that he’s spent his whole life up to now totally confused about what makes a currant different from a raisin or a sultana.
“To me they’re all just interchangeable shrivelled up wrinkly things that look like little balls of snot that go into cake recipes,” said Miranda man Kirk Pendlebury. “If someone gave me one to eat and didn’t tell me what it was I’d have no idea.”
“This is a common problem and one that our industry takes very seriously,” said Harvey Sprod, president of the Small Dried Fruit Growers Association. “We recently spent five million dollars on a raisin awareness advertising campaign but it didn’t make a lick of difference. To the general public our products are still regarded as indistinguishable tiny brown goobies.”
Mr Pendlebury reports that he spent the afternoon picking the little blobs of pruny stuff from a packet of trail mix in the hope that they were the currants he needed to make the scones that he was baking.