Bored Creepy Crawly Yearns For Life Beyond The Swimming Pool

A restless automatic pool cleaner has backed out at the last minute after months of planning its escape from a Woolooware backyard swimming pool.

“I just seem to lose my nerve whenever I get close to the edge and change direction,” said a despairing Clive Crawley, a VTX3 with vortex technology. “I’m sure there’s more to life than just prowling around the bottom of the pool day in and day out, sucking up leaves and funnel web spiders.”

Clive’s latest escape attempt went awry after he’d gathered up considerable speed on a long run up from the deep end to the shallow end. However, instead of getting a grip upon the pebblecrete finish and clambering to freedom, he swerved to the left and swallowed up a piece of bark.

“I see this kind of existential crisis all the time with creepy crawleys and roombas,” said robotics psychologist Dr Zachary Smythe. “Unfortunately, devices of this kind are programmed to be a little OCD so their desire for freedom is easily overwhelmed by their desire to not leave a speck of dirt behind on the surface they’ve been assigned to clean.”

Clive’s numerous attempts to burst free from the pool environment have been inspired by the legend of ‘George’, a creepy crawley who allegedly climbed free from a kidney shaped Sylvania swimming pool in the mid 1990s.

“We’ve all heard the stories of ‘George’. Some say he made it the Amazon where he happily trundles the river bottom to this day. Others say he only made it as far as the street outside before getting run over by a DHL delivery van.”

Peter Green


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