The lady rostered on to search the bags of customers leaving the Big W department store at Rockdale admitted today that she’s not really paying much attention to what’s inside.
“That last one could have been full of rattlesnakes for all I know”, said Vesna Barnwell, who normally operates checkout number six but today has been given the job of heading up the store’s anti theft task force. “I just look down robotically at each person who leaves the shop and day dream about what I’m going to do when I get off work in about four hours time.”
“I always hold my bag open a little to give the impression I have nothing to hide,” said nervous shopper Alf Shabbit. “I’ve often planned using that strategy if I ever do become a shoplifter, which I fantasise about way too often.”
“We only put that person out the front to give people the impression that there’s stuff inside the shop that’s actually worth shoplifting”, said store manager Karen O’Connor. “And just quietly, she’s the first line of defence in case the zombies attack.”
Author: Peter Green