Kid’s Tinder Captures Biggest Share Of Play Date Market

More and more children are turning to social media sites to find partners for play dates, citing dissatisfaction with more traditional methods of meeting other kids to play with.

“Who wants to hang around a sleazy school playground hoping some random kid will come up to you and offer to start a game of chasings when you could be sorting your way through a selection of all the kids in the neighbourhood, checking out who has the best toys and who’s mum bakes the best cookies,” said Narrabeen six year old Daisy Blundell as she surveyed number one play date site Kinder. “There’s a girl right now looking for someone into dressing up cats in baby clothes and taking them for a ride in the pram. I’ll definitely swipe her to the right.”

“I can’t believe that our mums and dads used to have to knock on someone’s front door and ask if they wanted to come out and play,” said Dee Why four year old Harvey Wrightson. “How embarrassing if they said no or that they can’t come out and play because they have to go to grandma’s house. With Kinder you only get a reply if someone is not grounded and you can check their profile to see if they are a cops and robbers kind of guy or a cowboys and indians kind of guy.”

Fairlight seven year old Tonia Pontifex is typical of a choosy modern kid, able to quickly discard potential play dates who don’t meet her exacting standards as she works her way through who’s on offer.

“No backyard, no thanks… come bowl a hoop along the road with a stick, what century is that guy living in?… hmmm Jeff from Collaroy, I’d want to see a photo of that nerf gun first… barbie doll with the camper van, looking good, wait on, is that a bratty little sister in the background. Pity… Jenny from Avalon, looking for a third for hungry hungry hippos, we have a winner.”

Author: Peter Green


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