The meek have been protesting feebly after learning that God has changed his will to leave the earth to his cats.
“I’m thinking of making a small sign and demonstrating somewhere, if that’s alright with the rest of you,” said mild mannered accountant Sean Scrabster. “It’s not like I was sweating on God to pass away and leave me the earth but I was kind of hoping that when the time came my share would help me get a foothold in the Sydney property market.”
Even the fierce, long thought to be opposed to the meek inheriting the earth, are disappointed in the news.
“We’ve always reckoned we’d be able to bully the meek into handing the earth back over to us within a week of them inheriting it anyway,” said intimidating property developer Mick Loader. “I know the meek, they don’t have much fight in them.”
It is not the first time that God has changed his will, which he briefly altered in the late 1980s to leave everything to his new Filipino wife Rowena. This will was successfully challenged in a lengthy court case by his son Jesus and daughter Virginia. God’s offspring have long opposed the decision to leave everything to the meek, stating that it discourages the meek from growing some stones and getting a decent job for themselves.
The earth is expected to be put into a trust fund with an annual stipend to be distributed to God’s cats, who currently reside in alleys and in the homes of crazy old ladies worldwide.
Author: Peter Green