Rancid Veal Poisons Stand Up Comedy Audience

A Sydney stand up comedian has apologised for recommending the veal at the end of his show after a majority of his audience came down with salmonella poisoning from consuming a poorly refrigerated batch of the meat.

“I’d just started a week of shows at the venue and had found veal tasty and succulent,” said contrite funnyman Shecky Meezle. “I thought I was doing the crowd a favour by recommending that they try the dish at the end of my act.”

“The veal had been prepared on the same bench top as some raw chicken and then stored at a balmy 15 degrees in a busted fridge,” said health inspector Laurie Penk. “It’s little wonder that we then saw 67 cases of explosive diarrhoea and projectile vomiting from patrons of the bistro.”

The recently divorced comic was the first to display signs of food poisoning. During his act he was seen to clutch at his collar and ask the crowd if it was just him or was it hot in here. He then fell to the floor in a quivering heap.

Author: Peter Green


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