Wankers Pass On Use Of The Word “bae” To The General Public

In an elaborate four hour ceremony, the world’s wankers have handed over the word “bae” to the rest of the population to use as they see fit.

“We’ve had a wonderful time slipping the bae into our social media posts to describe our nearest and dearest,” said Sydney wanker Jarred Crockett. “But lately we’ve noticed people who aren’t as cool as ourselves starting to use it in memes and stuff and so we thought it was about time to formally hand it over to the riff raff.”

In the ceremony at a chocolate cafe in an outer suburban shopping centre, the word was placed in one of those little wire baskets used to serve chips in and handed over to a random bogan. The bogan was told that she could keep the little wire basket too.

“It feels great to take over responsibility for the roll out of bae into the vernacular,” said member of the general public Mona Aigburth. “I’m going to start by slowly adding it to a few Instagram captions and then maybe even try to use it in conversation, even though I’m not too sure how to actually say it.”

The traditional Danish owners of the word were also present at the ceremony, sniggering at the worlds cynics whom they have successfully conned into thinking the word means “poo”.

Peter Green


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