Medical researchers have cited the Facebook page of a north coast pro marijuana advocate as the best scientific evidence yet that smoking too much dope is bad for your brain.
“I’ve never seen a more clear cut illustration of how being baked all the time fucks up your head,” said neurologist Helmut Timtam, talking about the home page of Byron Bay potto Claude Doobie. “He makes some great points about medicinal cannabis and the history of hemp as a fabric, then follows it up with a post about the flying saucers and the lizards with people masks running the world. I intend to make a Powerpoint display of the page the centre of the talk I’ll be presenting at this week’s THC Induced Paranoid Delusional Disorder conference.”
“There is no evidence at all that cannabis is a gateway drug to harder drugs,” said Doobie in a sentence that sounded quite rational. “Now excuse me while I duck under the bed because the planes that drop the flouride in their Bilderberg Group funded chemtrails are just about to fly over.”
Doobie’s Facebook page and his website “The Myth Of Harmful Cannabis And Why The Unicorns Are Behind It” have now been cited in 157 separate scientific papers.
“Oh my stars,” exclaimed visibly shaken oncologist Dr Valerie Orchybottle after taking a scan through Doobie’s latest posts. “I was on the verge of recommending cannabis as pain relief for my cancer sufferers but I just got a load of all that stuff about the Nazis having a hollow earth base with an entrance at the North Pole. Now I’m not so sure.”