A Sydney home owner is regretting telling God about his plans to add an extra bedroom and a deck to his house after the Lord broke up laughing when shown the blueprints.
“That’s the last time I’m ever going to show God any of my plans,” said hurt Bradbury renovator Darryl Bunning. “Admittedly they were scrawled on the back of a napkin and had a bit of gravy on them but I thought they were structurally sound.”
“He’s trying to hold up a wall on something that’s not a load bearing beam and the timber he’s proposing to use for the decking will warp the first time it rains,” chortled the creator as he gave the plans a quick once over. “It’s going to come crashing down in a big heap. I also intend to smite Darryl with a massive earthquake and curse him with a plague of boils but mainly it’s that load bearing beam that’s going to give him the most grief.”
God then reported that he can’t wait to show the plans to his son Jesus, who works as a carpenter.
“He’ll have an almighty cack at this,” said God. “I’m not a chippie myself but I did build a whole universe in under seven days so I know a thing or two about the construction game.”
Bunning is apprehensive about telling God about his holiday plans, which involve hiring a campervan and driving around Syria for three weeks.