A Sydney mum and dad have still not decided what to name their first baby, who will be turning 42 later this week.
“People keep asking us what’s the name going to be so they can write it on the card,” said mother Louise Johnson about her son, currently known only as Male Infant. Johnson. “I really like Randolph as a name, after Randolph Mantooth from that TV show Emergency, but my husband has other ideas.”
“Randolph! He just doesn’t look like a Randolph,” said father Gary Johnson. “I reckon Jason is a better name, after his great grandfather. I keep telling her that other kids, well other guys he works with now, will shorten his name to Randy. You don’t want to lumber a kid with the name Randy Johnson for the rest of his life.”
The lack of a name has meant that Male Infant. Johnson. has never owned a novelty number plate for his bike with his name on it, was never spotted through the magic mirror on Romper Room, and was not able to participate in the Alcoholics Anonymous program when he developed a serious drinking problem ten years ago.
“I never got picked whenever the other kids were picking teams at school,” admitted Johnson junior, who ironically works as a senior supervisor at the Department of Births, Deaths and Marriages. “At a recent conference I attended I spent the whole week walking around with a blank nameplate pinned to my shirt.”
Male Infant. Johnson is hoping to celebrate his birthday with a quiet meal at a local restaurant with his mum and dad and his younger sisters Randolfina and Jasonene.