A study of thousands of languages in every corner of the globe has made the remarkable discovery that all of them use the same word to describe the concept of “Barry Manilow”.
“It hardly seems credible but in every language that I’ve looked at “Barry Manilow” is used to describe a type of jaunty piano playing singer songwriter with a big nose,” said University of Wangaratta lexicographer Naomi Warrbly. “Even in extinct languages such as Yahi, whose last native speaker Ishi died in 1916, historical recordings show the existence of a word “Barry Manilow” referring fondly to a man who wrote lots and lots of songs, many of which made the young girls cry.”
Warrbly’s began her research when she noted that a passage of the Rosetta Stone about a showgirl named Lola and her relationship with a man named Tony was attributed to a poet named “Barry Manilow” in the demotic script of the Egyptian Coptic language.
“The origins of most words are onomatopoeic, so whenever an ancient people encountered a wavy haired jingle writer who was having difficulty smiling without his partner we can only assume they uttered something that sounded like “Barry Manilow” and the word would have entered the vernacular.”
The only other word that comes close to “Barry Manilow” in its ubiquity across all languages is “cucumber”, which is used nearly universally to describe a cylindrical green vegetable. The only exception is French, where the word “frankfurt” is used instead. Peter Green