Bunch Of Old Guys Outside General Store Know Best Places To Buy Crystal Meth

Everyone in town knows that the bunch of old guys playing cards outside of Miller’s General Store are who you need to talk to if you’re new to these parts and want to know the best places to buy crystal meth.

“You start yarning with old Jeb Cartwright and sooner or later the conversation will come around to where his favourite crystal meth buying spots are,” drawled shopkeeper Daisy Miller. “He’s got one or two secret spots that he don’t like anyone else to know about so you got to be extra sweet to him and jest hope he ain’t in one of his moods where he’s hootin’ and hollerin’ and bashing his head repeatedly on the old oak tree.”

“You drive 500 yards past the old Jefferson place, take a left at the abandoned saw mill and follow that dirt road till you see a rundown wooden shack beside the riverbank with bedsheets in the front windows instead of curtains,” said old timer Hank Mullins as he sipped on his beer and tried to scratch the bugs away from underneath his skin. “That’s where Doggo lives and he cooks up the best Chrissie this side of the county line. You’ll be wired for days on that shit.”

The group of grizzled old crackheads fell silent when we quizzed them about the location of Shazza’s place, a legendary spot where the biggest rocks of ice are said to be purchased.

“We don’t know nothing about no Shazza’s place, do we fellas,” said wrinkly old Perce Mayberry with a genial wink.

As we left the store old Kenny Hawkins caught up to us and in a low voice gave us this instruction.

“You drive two miles yonder till you see a burnt tree stump on your left hand side, go up thataway till you see a jacaranda tree with a swing on it and just over the hill you’ll find a twelve story high block of council flats. Shazza lives at number 56.”

Peter Green


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