The members of Australia’s mutual admiration societies were full of praise for each other’s work as they gathered in Sydney for their annual convention.
“I think this past year has been the best one ever for mutual admiration and I can’t speak highly enough of the efforts of our members,” said Janelle Nice, president of the Society of Mutual Admiration Societies. “Our figures show that back scratching is up 75%, back patting is up 43% and generally doing good things for each other’s backs is up 59%.”
The news was not so rosy from Melbourne where the Australian Council of Hate Groups was holding its annual general meeting.
“I have an intense loathing for every other participant in this event,” said group secretary Clarence Grump. “I detest their attitude, the way they smell and their stupid haircuts. As per every other year the meeting degenerated into a massive fight with nameplates being thrown around the room and jugs of water upended on delegates heads.”
The only thing the hate groups agreed upon was a resolution restating how much they disliked the Society of Mutual Admiration Societies.