Society has confirmed that once again it intends to throw centuries of musical accomplishment out the window and spend the next month filling the air with nothing but freaking Christmas carols.
“If you go out anywhere in a public place between now and December the 26th don’t expect to hear the sublime beauty of Mozart, the soaring harmonies of Lennon and McCartney or the playful tunefulness of a Strauss waltz,” warned Society as it pruned a shrub on its front lawn into the shape of a reindeer. “Do however brace yourself for endless repetitions of Santa Baby, All I want For Christmas Is You and lashings of Felice Navidad and that calypso version of Mary’s Boy Child if I’m feeling dangerously inclusive of other cultures.
“I’m well aware that The Pretenders and The Pogues have albums and albums full of great songs but you’re deluding yourself if you think I’ll be giving time of day to anything other than 2000 Miles and A Fairytale Of New York over the upcoming weeks of torture”, snickered Society. “I hate people and everything they stand for.”
Lovers of music have been warned to avoid television sets, shopping malls, being put on hold, elevators, airports and especially groups of wandering minstrels in silly green hats.
“If you see any family group heading towards the park carrying a candle and a rug my advice is to turn and run,” said Society. “We all what that means. Stuff Brahms, Beethoven and Bach. It’s hours of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas and Jingle Bell Rock sung by some local warbler who almost made it through to the quarter finals of The Voice.”