Man On Edge Of Town Elated To Learn He Is 774 Metres Above Sea Level

A road tripping shire man could hardly hide his excitement after reading on the sign welcoming him to the western Queensland town of Bushman’s Blow that he was now 774 metres above sea level.

“This piece of knowledge gives me an excellent opportunity to re-calibrate my barometer,” said jubilant Barden Ridge holiday maker Paul Lind. “I also suffer from a rare skin elasticity disorder which makes it dangerous for me to elevate myself higher than 1500 metres above sea level. There’s a real danger of me exploding if I expose myself to low air pressure.”

“The 775 metre contour line has always been my favourite contour line which is why I moved to this town,” explained Trevor Gumboot, mayor and president of the local Rotary Club. “I’m honoured that Mr Lind and his late model Mazda 3 have honoured us with a visit. I’m especially stoked to learn that our town is the ideal height for someone with brittle skin disorder.”

Neither Mr Lind or Mr Gumboot were sure if the height above sea level was measured at high tide or low tide.

“The town actually used to be 773 metres above sea level but recently got a metre higher,” stated mayor Gumboot. “The rise in the town’s height has got nothing to do with all the dirt displaced because of all the extra bodies we’ve buried lately in the town cemetery. Not at all. Ha ha.”

Peter Green


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