Man At Edge Of Town Demands Solid Proof That It’s The Veal Capital Of Australia

A shire man is sceptical about the claim made on the sign welcoming him to a western Queensland town proclaiming it to be “The Veal Capital of Australia” and wants to see the facts backing up the boast.

“I’d like to see some hard evidence corroborated by impartial scientific data that the town truly is the veal capital of Australia,” said Barden Ridge tourist Paul Lind as he inspected the sign on the outskirts of Bushman’s Blow, population 1032 elevation 774 metres. “That’s a big statement to make and I’d like to see it backed up before I open any negotiations with the veal ambassador. Any town with a few cows hanging around it can reckon it’s the veal capital without putting forward any conclusive proof.”

“I’ve had the veal in comedy clubs all over the world and I heartily recommend the veal from Bushman’s Blow,” said stand up comedian Shecky Meezle. “In terms of taste, texture and crumbability the veal from here is second to none. If veal had a capital city, this would be the place for it.”

“I’d recommend that Paul stick around for Veal Week in the second week of July where we hold the annual Veal Parade and crown the Veal Queen,” said mayor and Rotary Club president Trevor Gumboot. “I think Paul will be really into our veal by the end of his stay in town.”

As well as being the municipality with the largest per capita production of veal in the southern hemisphere, Bushman’s Blow is also home to Australia’s largest car wreckers yard.

“We certainly never bolster our stocks of veal by adding any human flesh to it,” said mayor Gumboot. “Why would I even say something like that. LOL. Our veal is never anything less than 100% cow.”

Peter Green


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