Palaeontologist Reconstructs Good Times From Bones Of Failed Relationship

One of the world’s most respected dinosaur experts believes he may be able to piece together a complete set of good memories of his recently ended five year long relationship.

“Contrary to popular belief my relationship with Marcia didn’t consist entirely of her accusing me of loving my muttaburrasaurus skull more than her,” said Wangaratta Museum of Natural History palaeontologist Herbert Ediacara. “From some saucy late night texts that I dug up I’ve come to the conclusion that the frisson between myself and my former companion was rather hot blooded.”

“Maybe if I was a 100 million year old iguanodontian skull he’d have spent hour after hour lovingly brushing the dirt off me with his little brush,” said radiometric dating technician Marcia Burgess. “In the end I told Herbert that it was either the muttaburrasaurus or me. It’s been hard on my self esteem to be tossed aside for someone who doesn’t even have a full set of neck vertebrae.”

Ediacara speculates that the relationship may have displayed an outer coat of harmony and mutual satisfaction. Its inability to adapt to the meteoric arrival of a handsome new fossil expert in the department may have contributed to its downfall.

“From my examination of Marcia’s Facebook updates I’ve concluded that she may have been swept off her feet by the impact of suave French geohistorian Pierre Olduvai,” wrote Ediacara in a paper for the Journal Of Interpersonal Palaeoanthropology. “I myself have entered into a new era of phylogenetic radiation with a cute biostratigraphicist named Joylene. I’ve been delving happily into her Silurian layer for several weeks now.”

Peter Green


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