Olive Oil Sampled But Not Purchased At Farmers Market

Browsers at an inner Sydney organic food market were stunned to observe a fellow market goer sample all eight varieties of olive oil from in front of a stand and then simply walk away without being shamed into making a purchase.

“He must have balls the size of Jupiter,” said incredulous onlooker Faye Sourdough. “I can’t even catch the eye of a gozleme seller without feeling obliged to break my stride and buy something but he wolfed down eight little cubes of olive oil soaked bread on the end of toothpicks and then chuffed off without a care in the world.”

“I’ve been coming here every Saturday morning for the past eight years to buy hideously overpriced and slightly burnt spelt friands and this is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone with the fortitude to take a sample off a saucer and then just fuck off into the ether,” said friand fancier Fidele Bagat. “He even had the hide to make the seller open up a fresh bottle of garlic infused balsamic vinegar and still managed to avoid being shamed into opening up his wallet. I’m gobsmacked that no-one called the Police.”

Incredible as it may sound, consumer law states that a shopper is not obliged to make any kind of purchase after trying a free sample, no matter how chummy a conversation the seller may have engaged them in.

“I have incredibly high overheads as it is but still manage to sell my olive oil at the very competitve price of $95 a bottle,” said olive oil seller Jody Coldpress. “Those toothpicks cost a pretty penny on their own and I worked all night cutting up a loaf of bread into tiny cubes. I’m ruined financially and now may have to sell one or more of my kids to a dog food factory. To blindly steal a free sample in that manner suggests a person with only darkness at the core of their soul.”

Peter Green


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