Doctors Attach Non-Conjoined Twins After Tense Operation

Surgeons at a Sydney hospital have successfully joined two non-conjoined six month old twins after a grueling seventeen hour operation.

“We are elated to report that the two boys have been stitched together at the hip and expect them to fully recover and go on to lead a full and healthy life,” said Dr Philomena Gemini from the Royal Prince Andrew Hospital. “It was touch and go for a while there when we ran out of tissue for the join and had to make an emergency dash to the hospital kitchen to borrow some gristle from a crumbed cutlet.”

“Having the boys joined means it will be a lot harder to lose them when we go shopping,” said the twins mother Melissa Westbrook. “Plus I’ll only need to hold one of their hands when we cross the road which will leave my other hand free for checking my phone.”

“Unfortunately little Barry’s spleen fell out during the operation so the two guys will have to go through life sharing a spleen but other than the procedure was a complete success”, said relieved father Paul Westbrook. “The little fellas will never have to look far when they need to find a buddy on a school excursion, the only drawback that I can see being that their games of hide and seek probably won’t last very long.”

The operation was a first for the surgical team and they now hope to attach a set of triplets from the impoverished African nation of Chad that have been flown to Australia after a generous charity campaign orchestrated by the television show Sixty Minutes.

Peter Green


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