One Man Band Breaks Up Due To Musical Differences

A multi talented Sydney musician has sadly announced that his one man band is splitting up due to irreconcilable musical differences between different parts of his body.

“The creative tension between my shoulder blades that work the big bass drum and my knees which clang the cymbals together has up until now been a good thing but lately it’s turned poisonous,” lamented Blakehurst one man band Sid Tinwhistle. “My mouth which mainly plays harmonica but can also switch to a kazoo or a set of panpipes wants to keep on playing the crowd pleasing ditties that have worked for us right from the beginning but my arms, which are mainly banjo with a touch of squeezebox, have always felt chafed by the genre and want to take us in a direction more akin to free form jazz.”

“Sid’s left foot has been sleeping right through rehearsals and barely contributed a note on the xylophone at our latest busking gig at the Carlton South Primary School fete,” said Sid’s neck. “I’m just happy to have a washboard slung around me and be part of the band whatever it is we’re playing.”

The tensions within the band came to a head during an appearance at the Sans Souci Street Festival when after performing crowd pleasing versions of In the Good Old Summertime and a novelty reworking of AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long Sid’s right elbow initiated a thirteen minute long tambourine solo that led to most of the crowd dispersing.

“People with kids wandered off to play on the jumpy castle and all we had left were a couple of dudes in berets who were really getting into it,” said Sid’s left elbow. “I gamely tried to start up on the maraca chords from Day Trip To Bangor in the hope of getting the crowd back but it was too late.”

Sid’s mouth, knees, left elbow and buttocks are expected to keep donning a top hat and stripey pants to play weekend gigs whilst his hands, right elbow and shoulder blades will be eschewing any jaunty clothing and taking up a mid week residency at The Basement.

Peter Green


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