The population of New Zealand has voted in a referendum to reject a new flag design and to retain the Australian flag as its flag.
“While this in now way secretly reflects any kind of repressed desire to be part of Australia, the people have made their choice and the Australian flag it is,” said prime minister John Key whilst stroking some hair. “Despite this, we’d just like the rest of the world to know that we’re a totally different place from Australia and will continue to express this by playing with Buzzy Bees, drinking L & P with our fish and chips and tearing up whenever we hear The Exponents singing Why Does Love Do This To Me.”
Although it wasn’t included in the referendum, private polling suggests that a slightly altered flag design featuring one extra star in the southern cross would have captured over 99% of the vote.
“My design included an extra seven pointed star in the bottom left hand corner to represent New Zealand’s dominance of rugby sevens and I got rid of those really hard to draw red stars that were inside the white stars of the southern cross,” said Auckland artist Ewan Jandal, who now resides in Brisbane. “Everyone I showed it to really liked it and when I ran it up a flagpole it got heaps of salutes, ay.”
In related news, the referendum to choose a new Kiwi national anthem has resulted in a win for Advance New Zealand Fair over old anthem God Defend New Zealand.