Softcock Doesn’t Help Rest Of Guys Build Dam At Picnic

Fellow picnicgoers of shire softcock Michael Ladida report that he refused to kick in and help them build a makeshift dam across a tiny stream that ran through the middle of their picnic ground today.

“What kind of man refuses to pitch in and help his mates gather some rocks and mud and build a dam when confronted with a creek less than a metre wide running past a picnic area,” asked Ladida’s concerned wife Cherie. “Michael just leant against a tree reading his book while the rest of the guys were hard at work. I’m going to find it difficult to make love to him in the future if I can’t shake that image from my mind.”

“We were having a bit of an explore around the area after lunch and as soon as we spotted the creek not a word was said but everyone except Mick started picking up stones and putting them into place,” said Ladida’s best mate Johnno. “Mick said something pissweak about not wanting to disturb the yabbies and didn’t help at all.”

After ten minutes of intensive construction the men had satisfactorily stemmed the flow of the creek and started to build up a small reservoir of water behind it before jointly destroying the dam with their feet.

“Further down the creek we discovered a bit where it formed quite a big pool and without exchanging words all of us except Mick started skipping stones on it,” said Ladida’s second best friend Colin. “Was he dropped on his head as a baby or something? You’ve got to seriously question the guy’s testosterone levels.”

Peter Green

In Sydney? Come and see our live show The (un) Australian: Live and Libellous on May 3 at the Sydney Comedy Festival. Book tickets here.

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s