The Menai branch of the Commonwealth Bank has been reduced to a pile of rubble after angry federal treasurer Scott Morrison transformed into the Incredible Hulk.
“Steam started coming out of Scott’s ears, his muscles swelled enormously and he burst totally out of his shirt,” said shaken bank manager Ron Penchain. “He then rampaged through the bank smashing holes in the walls with his mighty green fists.”
Morrison became furious after bank executives were slow to confirm that they would be paying for $120 million of restored ASIC funding out of corporate profits.
“We gave Scott a wink and said of course we wouldn’t be passing on the cost of funding the regulatory body to our customers,” said Westpac executive Shauna Moneybox. “Then he found out we were going to be charging pensioners a $500 fee for breathing the air inside our branches and he just completely freaked out.”
“We though that Scotty can get as mad as he wants because he has no real power to punish us,” said cowering ANZ executive Peter Coinroll. “But after seeing the way he was tossing work stations around like confetti I’m thoroughly frightened and would never consider crossing him again.”
A furious Morrison was last seen bounding towards Malcolm Turnbull’s house muttering something about changing the date of the budget without consultation.