Confectionary company Allens has released a new series of Fantales featuring biographies of well known dentists on the wrappers.
“Since we’ve created so much business for the dentistry industry over the years we thought it was about time we put a few prominent dentists on the wrappers instead of the usual array of film stars and pop singers,” said wrapper designer Lucy Lockjaw. “Every year our chewy little toffees have been responsible for wrenching a million or so fillings out of peoples teeth and our mailbox is full of postcards from grateful dentists in the midst of expensive overseas holidays.”
“I was stoked when my latest patient showed me the wrapper from the Fantale that had torn her molar right out of her gums and there was a small bio of myself,” said Helensburgh dentist Clive Happygas. “There I was right next to other famous dentists like the guy who invented the annoying high pitched drill and the lady who designed the little basin that you spit your water into.”
“Argle urgle argle urgle argle”, said a bloke eating a Fantale at the movies when we asked him how much he liked the new bios on the wrappers. “Urgle argle urgle gargle gurgle,” he said when we got back to him twenty minutes later.