Lesbian Called “Mate”

A shire man has accidentally called a lesbian “mate” causing a jaunty transaction at the counter of a hardware store to turn frosty.

“I plonked my box of 50 x 2.8mm decking nails on the counter and opened the conversation with a convivial ‘just these thanks mate’ before realising she was a chick,” said Yarrawarrah DIY renovator Brett Gumble. “In my defence she had very short hair and was wearing a mannish shirt with a tie. Sadly my gaffe forced me to conduct the rest of the sale in an awkward silence.”

“I’m a trans female who identifies as a bloke so to be honest I’m kind of flattered when anyone calls me mate,” said Bunnings sales assistant Alice Stein. “It’s sad the conversation fell flat because I was looking forward to a bit of hardware related banter to fill in the time while I scanned the barcode.”

Gumble recovered his composure in time to address local soccer club mother Justine Bailey as “darl” when he purchased a sausage sandwich in the car park two minutes later.

“Alice is one of our best sales assistants,” said store manager Frank Plywood. “She knows as much about hardware as anyone else working here. Which is two thirds of stuff all.”

Peter Green

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One thought on “Lesbian Called “Mate”

  1. Once a little kid pointed at me in my cargo shorts, t-shirt and cropped hair and in a loud voice asked, “Mommy, is that lady a boy or a girl?” The embarrassed mom looked like she wanted to disappear, but I thought it was great. I told the kid, “I’m kind of a little bit of both.”

    Liked by 1 person

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