Malcolm Turnbull has turned up for training at Liberal Party headquarters only to find that his locker has been given to contender and climber Dipper Brown.
“You know what you are? A tomata. Let’s face it we run a political party here not a god damn soup kitchen,” said Turnbull’s grizzled trainer Micky Kroeger when the coalition leader quizzed him as to why there was a new padlock on the locker and all his stuff had been thrown into a corner. “Who’d you beat in Wentworth this election? Spider Rico? Spider Rico’s a bum.”
While Kroeger admitted that Turnbull has heart he’s never had his nose busted and should get out of politics while he’s still nice and pretty and retains what’s left of his mind.
“I’m going to go take a steam because I did real good in that election and you shoulda seen me,” said a defiant Turnbull before going off to buy a big white dog from the mousy girl at the local pet shop and punching some slabs of beef in preparation for a leadership challenge from Apollo Morrison.
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