Teachers at a Sydney primary school have admitted that they are struggling to find any achievements amongst the student body worthy of putting on the notice board out the front of the school.
“They’re basically good kids and try really hard but you can’t help feeling that the current batch can best be described as an overflowing bucket of dimbulbs,” said Sonya Fingerpaint, headmistress of Penshurst North Public School. “For example for three days last week the sign read WELL DONE ADAM BROWN – SEVENTH IN THE SACK RACE AT THE DISTRICT SPORTS CARNIVAL because that’s the best we had. There were only seven kids in the race for Christ’s sake.”
Previous signs have read GOOD LUCK KELLY JACKSON AT BEDWETTER’S CAMP and BIG SHOUT OUT TO WAYNE EVANS – THREE DAYS WITHOUT PICKING YOUR SCAB.
“I think the kids at our school do remarkably well when you consider that Penshurst North recently got into the Guinness Book of Records for suburb with greatest concentration of high tension power lines in the world,” said Margie Lamington, president of the P & C. “I was immensely proud when I put up CONGRATULATIONS VICKY ELLIS ON WORKING OUT HOW TO USE A PENCIL SHARPENER and GREAT EFFORT KEVIN HARRINGTON ON ALMOST FINISHING ONE BOOK IN THE PREMIER’S READING CHALLENGE.”
School caretaker Cecil Edgetrimmer is currently updating the sign to read GET WELL SOON LINLEY BAKER – CLASS 6B WISHES YOU A SPEEDY RECOVERY FROM THE DUCK BITE.
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