Schrödinger’s Dog Feeling Neglected

Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger’s pet dog spends its days languishing in the backyard pining for more attention from his famous quantum theorist master.

“Every day he packs that darn cat into a cardboard box and troops off for the laboratory without stopping to give me nary a pat on the head,” complained Schrödinger’s dachshund Rex. “When he gets home I meet him at the gate with my tennis ball in my mouth hoping for a game of fetch but he ignores me and heads straight for the kitchen to mix up another batch of his “special” cat food for that spoiled tabby.”

“Rex seems very lonely and he spends all day barking mournfully and chasing my cats up a tree, ” said Schrödinger’s next door neighbour, Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov. “I’ve tried to teach my cats to avoid him but the damned animals are simply untrainable.”

Rex once spent all day digging holes in the garden but instead of getting more attention the action prompted an excited Schrödinger to call Albert Einstein with some theories on how bodies of great mass warp indentations in the plane of the space time continuum.

“I’m not asking to be put in a box and paraded around in front of the world, all I want is a scratch on the tummy and the occasional visit to the dog park,” said Rex. “He treats me as if sometimes he doesn’t even know I exist.”

Peter Green

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