Shire Man Supports Motorway If It Means More Maps In The News

A man from the shire is highly supportive of the government’s new Westconnex project mainly because every newspaper article about the new motorway contains lots of maps.

“I know I should be concerned about the environmental impact of the new road and the hundreds of people who will have their houses demolished and so on but there’s an even bigger part of me that gets really excited every time I spot a new map,” said Turriel Bay bloke Gregory Mercator. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big supporter of building massive new public transport systems. Because that means lots of maps in the paper too.”

“Wars are bad because people get killed but wars are also cool because they always lead to heaps of maps in the papers,” said Mercator’s next door neighbour Maxie Sidway. “Check out this story about Syria. Here’s a map showing ISIS held areas and a map showing where the Kurds are and like I know this conflict is devastating people’s lives but maps, man, maps.”

“It’s not like we commission these multi billion dollar projects just because of the maps,” said Brad Trigstation, the NSW Minister for Building New Roads. “Though check out this cool one with a dashy line showing where we might put an underground link between the Wollongong Freeway and the Airport Tunnel. Special professional map maker guys make maps for all these kinds of things and I get to see them before anyone else in the world. This is the best job ever.”

Shire woman Joyce Mercator flipped through paper this morning going straight to the international news section without bothering to even look at the map of the proposed new Sydney Metro System.

“They’re just coloured lines on a bit of paper, what is there to get excited about?” said the Turriel Bay events manager as her husband rolled his eyes behind her. “Gregory once spent a thirteen hour plane flight just staring at that little graphic of a plane on top of a map showing you where you were. He didn’t even look up when the plane got hijacked.”

Peter Green

Follow Bobvulture on Twitter

Click here to see Bobvulture live on stage at the Sydney Comedy Fringe


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s