Baker Creates Politically Correct All Grey Neenish Tart

A baker in Sydney’s inner west has outraged cake lovers by producing a desegregated version of Aussie favourite the neenish tart.

“The traditional neenish tart with black on one side and white on the other represents a form of icing apartheid that is no longer acceptable in the confectionary industry in the 21st century,” said Newtown baker Pierre Griswold in the kitchen of his shop The Sour Doughmaker. “My politically aware customers love them and they’re selling like hot cakes… well like small cups of pastry filled with cream and a dob of jam and covered with a layer of sugary grey icing.”

The new look tarts are not popular with all of Griswold’s customers, including local FM radio disc jockey Roy Prattle.

“I came in at morning teatime looking for my daily neenish tart and found these icky looking grey things in the shop window,” complained Prattle. “What’s this idiot want to do next? Grey lamingtons? Stop making mushroom cakes in case he offends the pixies? Turn me over, I’m done.”

“Normally I don’t care what colour the tops of the neenish tarts are as long as I continue to get my five cents royalty on each one that gets sold,” said billionaire Ted Neenish, heir to the Neenish family fortune. “But this has gone too far. And while he’s at it bring back the good old fashioned meat pies filled with bloody pie meat instead of pulled pork and fennel and covered with a sprinkling of poncy seeds.”

Peter Green

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