Sia Injured In Fall From Chandelier

Singer Sia has been rushed to hospital with a suspected broken ankle after falling from a chandelier that she was attempting to swing on.

“This lady with a mask on her face comes into my shop shortly after 9AM and asks to borrow a step ladder,” said George Osram, manager of the Bexley North outlet of The Lighting Warehouse. “The next minute she’s swinging wildly back and forth from an eleven bulber French rustic and laughing like a hyena on happy gas. Look, the mounting strap of a typical ceiling drop crystal chandelier isn’t built to hold the weight of a fully grown singer from Adelaide and the canopy chain gave way under the stress.”

“I don’t know what it is about people in masks and chandeliers but we get some nutter in a mask coming in all the time wanting to swing on our chandelier,” said Mirabella Clouseau, manager of the Paris opera house. “If you want to swing on something go down to the park and play on the monkey bars.”

Sia is reported to be in a satisfactory condition with her left ankle in a plaster cast. There was some confusion on the way to the operating room when the bemasked singer was mistaken for a surgeon and forced to perform an emergency appendectomy on another patient.

“If Sia ever wants to quit singing and take up another career as an ER surgeon she’s quite welcome because she whipped out that guy’s infected appendix like a pro,” said Dr Francine Scalpel from St George Hospital.

Peter Green

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