Tens of thousands of long suffering Cronulla Sharks fans awoke this morning happily thinking that today will finally be the day they travel across Tom Ugly’s Bridge.
“I’ve been waiting all my life to see my footy team playing in a match on the other side of the River Georges,” said hyperactive Shark’s fan Bernie Sunscreen from Miranda. “I’ve heard talk of the strange people living on the far shore. Sometimes we hear their jingly jangly music wafting over the water on a quiet night and wonder about their odd customs.”
“All we know about the lands to the North is this old map made by Christopher Columbus that shows nothing but a drawing of a Dragon’s fan,” said Sharks cheerleader Tanya Rashie. “We shall gather the SUVs in a convoy and leave behind us a trail of Paul’s hamburger wrappers so as not to lose our way back home.”
Traveller’s who overslept on the train and were carried beyond Como have returned to the Shire with wild stories of grotesque people without blonde hair and who flaunt their naked noses bereft of a covering of zinc cream.
“Today will mark the greatest migration of people from the Shire since the early 1970s when we travelled westward to colonise the lands of Menai,” said Sutherland mayor Paul Gallen. “We shall keep the magic portal known as Tom Ugly’s Bridge open until midnight to allow everyone to cross back safely. Travel safely and whatever you do don’t change trains at Sydenham.”
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