The eating of a nice meal of battered flake and chips will remain tense until the lemon pip that went missing after being squeezed onto the fish is relocated, reports a hungry Shire fish and chip aficionado.
“The pip went flying out of the lemon and hid itself somewhere in amongst the tiny crunchy chips and the balled up bits of soggy batter and now I can’t relax until I find it,” said Greenhills Beach seafood eater Greg Scallop. “When I do find the pip I’ll have to push it to its own corner of the plate and initiate some kind of exclusion zone around it so that I don’t accidentally scoop it up with my fingers.”
“The downside of a tasty drizzle of lemon on your fish and chips is the ever present danger of a pip going rogue,” said Dr Natalie Zest, professor of lemon studies at the Shepparton Institute of Citrus Fruit. “The holy grail of lemon research is to breed a pipless lemon, one that can be liberally applied to a seafood basket.”
A little known aspect of the biblical story of Jesus performing the miracle of the loaves and the fishes was that the sermon was put on hold whilst the 5000 followers searched their plates for lemon pips that had landed amidst the assortment of indeterminate grey goobies that normally collect at the bottom of a meal of battered fish.
“This experience has led me to think about having a pizza for dinner tomorrow night,” said a chastened Mr Scallop. “Though that is usually delayed as my girlfriend insists on removing all the olives from her slice before tucking in.”
Follow Bobvulture on Twitter