Futurologist Can’t Believe He Gets Away With Calling Himself A Futurologist

All the other academics are jealous because they didn’t think of calling themselves a futurologist first before I did, said a prominent Sydney futurologist during a talk for which he was paid a outrageously fanciful amount of money.

“I’m just some prick with a degree in marketing and a few tickets on myself but ever since I pulled the title ‘futurologist’ out of my backside I’ve been in constant demand,” admitted futurologist Gordon Brady. “People assume I spend all day studying data and devising complex algorithms but if you visit my office all you’ll see is a beanbag chair and a big whiteboard where I scribble in the dates of my future speaking engagements.”

“It was a great day for guys with otherwise useless degrees in marketing and psychology when Gordon invented the word ‘futurologist’ to make what we do sound profound,” said fellow futurologist Jane Peachey. “All you need to do is insert the phrase ‘transition to the service economy’ into whatever it is you’re babbling on about. What’s the ‘service economy’? Who the hell knows.”

The biggest trend identified by Brady during his latest foray into the corporate conference circuit was the bold prediction that every top company would soon be employing a futurologist as a consultant on a seven figure salary.

“That bastard has cornered the market on short little drop in interviews on the radio,” said marketing guru Sherman Spencer. “That used to be the preserve of us marketing gurus but now if you’re not a futurologist no-one wants to hear you try to fill up ten minutes of dead air on a Tuesday afternoon.”

Peter Green

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