Smug Little Scandinavian Country Is Better Than Us At Everything

That more perfect than thou Scandinavian country is once again better than us at something, according to yet another news story being shared by that person who’s always sharing them.

“It doesn’t matter what we do they always do it better in freaking Denmark or Finland or somewhere,” said Bundeena social media regular Bryce Boxhead. “Every second item on my Facebook feed is a link to some story about Icelandic high schools or Swedish prisons. I don’t care if in Oslo they’ve discovered the best way to reform murderers who’ve pushed grannies down a flight of stairs is to let them work as volunteers in retirement homes. I don’t care how cosy or whatever that flipping buzzword is, I’m sick of it.”

“My friend Lizzie sends me a story every day about how much better the traffic is in Copenhagen ever since they banned everything but rollerblades,” said exasperated Kurnell twitter user Keith Wrightson. “If she loves Denmark so much why doesn’t she just marry it.”

Statistics released by Facebook suggest that after videos of cats getting scared and jumping with all four feet in the air, newspaper articles about the boxes of goodies given to newborn parents by Norwegian hospitals are the second most shared item on the platform.

“I really looked closely into emigrating to Scandinavia after reading so many stories about how much better their schools, hospitals, prisons, newspapers, churches, social welfare system and Police force is,” admitted Engadine web surfer David Jessup. “Then I looked at the price of a beer in Helsinki and I thought stuff the place.”

Peter Green

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