Man Living On Christmas Leftovers Since 1973 Finally Makes Trip To Shops

A Shire man has made his first trip to the supermarket to buy food in 43 years after eating the last of the leftovers from his 1973 Christmas Day.

“We thought that we’d be able to make a couple of meals out of the leftovers before needing to go to get more groceries but it turned out there was a bit more than we expected. I finally finished off those two fatty bits of ham that I’d been avoiding for decades and the last two spoonfuls of Aunty Violet’s potato salad and realised that I had no more food in the house for the first time since Richard Nixon was the president,” said 79 year old Woolooware dartboard manufacturer Peter Cummerford. “I’m so looking forward to seeing what’s new in the dessert department because I’ve had nothing but trifle, brandy butter and grandma’s fruit cake for afters for the past 15,300 meals ever since the rum and raisin ice cream ran out.”

“The fridge has been full of nothing else but stuff on dinner plates covered over with glad wrap and alfoil since Boxing Day the year that Gala Supreme won the Melbourne Cup,” said Cummerford’s wife Allison. “We put the kids through high school on pork and cranberry sauce sandwiches.”

“I don’t care what we get at the shops as long as its not made from gingerbread or is any kind of dried fruit covered in chocolate,” said eldest son Craig. “I’m really looking forward to seeing what kind of advancements have been made in coleslaw technology.”

The Cummerfords are hoping to do Christmas at someone else’s place next year and only come back with enough leftovers to get them through to the middle of January.

Peter Green


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