Australia’s Mums Confirm If Missing Thing Had Teeth It Would Have Bitten You

If that object you were looking for had teeth it would have bitten you, stated Australia’s mums after finding it within fifteen seconds of starting their own search for the missing item.

“I’m willing to bet that you’ve walked right past it about five times already,” said Maroochydore mum Jackie Fitzpatrick. “Give me strength. I’m coming out there and if I find it in the first place I look there’ll be trouble.”

“I don’t know why scientists just don’t engineer a set of teeth into things like school bags, mobile phones and jumpers,” said Bega mum Leanne Turner. “A few bite marks on her elbows would teach my daughter Stephanie how to find things quick smart.”

Aviation crash investigators believe that Malaysian Airlines officials are reluctant to ask their mums for help in locating the missing flight MH 370 because of fears of copping a stern lecture suggesting that if the plane was equipped with dental apparatus finding it would have been easy.

“If my missing underpants had teeth and were capable of biting me I’m not so sure I’d be searching that hard to find them in the first place,” said Tannum Sands son Mitchell Dodds. “I don’t want anything with teeth residing that close to my family jewels, no matter how much easier it makes me to relocate them.”

Australia’s mums are currently getting very excited about advances in medical technology that will allow children to screw their heads onto their necks so as not to be able to lose them.

Peter Green


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