Australia’s only water bubbler without a stick jammed into its hole has been added to UNESCO’s World Heritage List as a site of outstanding universal value to the people of all nations.
“The bubbler’s location in the middle of the Nullarbor plain many hundreds of kilometres from the nearest tree has kept it safe from vandalism,” stated UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres as he signed the decree. “We’re employing a security guard to protect the site and all visitors will be searched for twigs and chewie.”
“Preservation of the bubbler will enable us to teach future generations the lost art of putting your thumb over the hole and squirting unsuspecting passersby with a stream of water,” said Lex Tooleybuc from the Water Bubbler and Drinking Fountain Appreciation Society. “Kids also need to learn how to stand well back from the bubbler the first time they press the button just in case the stream is so powerful it might take your eye out.”
The bubbler is located next to the world’s most remote playground, housing a set of swings and a slippery dip built by Afghan camel drivers in the 19th century and most recently played upon by workers constructing the Trans Australian Railway.
“I expect boredom will be the biggest problem with this job,” said security guard Bevan Piangil, who’s been tasked with looking after the bubbler. “Fortunately I’ll have my hobby of whittling toothpicks out of blocks of wood to keep me amused so I don’t foresee any danger of that happening.”