Elephant Forgets

This elephant standing in a field in Malawi can’t remember why it is he came into the field in the first place and is wondering if anyone can help him out.

“Mate this has been happening a lot lately. I find myself in the middle of the savannah and I forget what it I wanted,” said middle aged African elephant Arthur Tusker. “It’s either got something to do with food or I was on my way to stomp a village down to matchsticks in a fit of rage. Damn it this is annoying.”

“We come across a lot of bewildered elephants just standing in the middle of the vast plains staring blankly at a piece of string tied around their feet,” said BBC documentary maker Edwina Catherall. “We suspect Arthur was on his way to flare his ears up angrily at a jeepload of safari tourists when it completely slipped his mind.”

Biologists recently proved that despite their reputation for memory retention elephants actually scored only in the mid range for mammals at playing the card game “concentration”.

“We tested dozens of elephants on that game where you show them a table with ten objects on it and then cover it over with a sheet and ask them to name as many of the objects as they can,” said pachyderm psychologist Norman Saggybaggy. “The average score was only 5.4 compared to leopards who averaged 7.6.”

Arthur reports that he suddenly remembered he was on his way to the waterhole to suck water up his trunk and spray it onto his back.

Peter Green


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