African crocodiles have been warned to examine their gnus carefully after reports that unscrupulous hunters have started using decoy gnus to lure them out of waterholes.
“I kept telling my husband to only get his gnus from a reliable source such as the source of the Nile,” said bereaving widow crocodile Beryl Snappy. “But he insisted on going way upriver and getting his gnus from a much less reliable source, well away from the main stream.”
“Hunters like to stay close to the river banks so crocodiles should be wary of any gnus from the far right or far left,” said park ranger Joanne Khaki. “Unfortunately many crocodiles live in bubbles of air trapped under the reeds close to the bank and don’t want to get gnus from outside of their bubble.”
Some outrageously fake gnus have fooled crocodiles over the recent months, with one falling for two hunters dressed in a pantomime horse costume with a pair of sticks tied to their head.
“Once a crocodile gets it into his head to swallow some gnus it is very hard to change his mind”, said exasperated zoologist Bill Harzia. “The smart crocodiles simply stop following the stupid crocodiles who repeatedly try to share the fake gnus with them.”