Missing inventor of the biodegradable plastic shopping bag Russell Twisttie has been found crumbled into little pieces in one of the lesser used kitchen drawers of his family home in Berkshire.
“I completely forgot that I’d put a whole lot of tea towels inside Russell and stashed him away inside the drawer about three years ago,” said tearful wife Sally Twisttie. “I was rummaging around looking for my spare eggbeater and as soon as I opened up the fourth drawer down that we hardly ever use I found what was left of him. What used to be a fully formed husband just came apart into little specks in my hands.”
“Russell was designed to go straight into landfill and decompose gradually back into the environment,” reported senior detective Gil Tucker from the missing inventors bureau. “Instead he was mistakenly used as a temporary receptacle for storing some tea towels with annoyingly messy repercussions.”
The drawer was given a thorough cleaning with the dustbuster and the tea towels have now been safely repackaged in a non bio degradable Tesco’s bag.