Shire Kids Sent To Sunday School So They’ll Get The Jokes In Their Christmas Cards

A survey has found that Shire parents are only sending their kids to Sunday school in the hope that they can learn enough about the nativity story to be able to get the jokes in humorous Christmas cards.

“I don’t want my kids growing up to be churchies or anything but I do want them to be able to have a laugh at a reference to the three wise men or Jesus being born in a stable surrounded by hilarious talking farm animals,” admitted Illawong mother Kirsty Manger. “It also makes our annual viewing of that “Little Drummer Boy” TV show a lot easier if we don’t have to keep explaining who the kid is in the food trough and what exactly is the function of a shepherd.”

“We naively assumed that parents were sending their kids to Sunday school so they could get in a cheeky Sunday morning session of horizontal folk dancing without the little brats getting in the way,” said Sunday School teacher Jess Jesusluvsmee. “It turns out they just wanted to make sure the little ratfinks were au fait with the whole gold, frankincense and myrrh thing.”

Sunday school teachers throughout the shire are reportedly sick and tired of parents pressuring them to ignore other Bible stories and just get to the part where the three guys on camels are lost in the desert trying to follow a star.

“Parents are often shocked when they find out that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer isn’t even mentioned in the Bible,” said Gary Hallmark from the Australian Christmas Card Manufacturers Guild. “The Christmas card industry prides itself on being up to date on what’s trending so expect plenty of jokes about Joseph and Mary posing for an Instagram photo with the three wise men and so on.”

Peter Green


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