Cockatoo Frustrated That Conversation Never Gets Beyond Hello

A white cockatoo who yearns for a deep and meaningful conversation has expressed his disappointment that people only ever repeat the words “hello cocky” when talking to him.

“I’m very well read and keep myself up to date with the issues by checking several different news websites every day, including Buzzfeed,” said Polly as he dissected a pine cone in a tree high above the Sydney suburb of Picnic Point. “Don’t get me wrong, I understand the concept that the wheels of social interaction are greased with a bit of small talk, but for some reason when people engage me in a chat we never seem to move on from an endless round of hellos.”

“I’m not sure where he thinks the conversation might go next because people and cockatoos have precious little common ground,” said Polly’s best mate Cocky as he tore the timber decking off a patio. “People want to talk about their kids and house prices and we basically spend all day nattering about which power lines are the best ones to stand on in a big pack.”

Polly is keeping his claws crossed for a bit of intelligent conversation later today when the flock intends flying around Sydney University looking for some polystyrene to chew up.

“In case you’re wondering, I have a varied diet so please feel free to offer me something more varied than a cracker if you’re thinking of inviting me around for afternoon tea,” said Polly. “Though a cracker would be nice. I do want one.”

Peter Green


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