Scientists have confirmed that the outbreak of coronavirus, rioting on the streets of America, the Australian bushfire season and the murder hornets can be traced back to a rip in the fabric of reality caused by a shire man recklessly wearing his “Monday” underpants on a Wednesday.
“I tried to warn Trent that he was playing with dynamite when I saw him getting dressed for work in a hurry and pulling on the Monday undercrackers,” said Fiona Jason-Jason, wife of Kirrawee gas meter reader Trent Jason-Jason. “He just couldn’t be bothered having a proper rummage around in the derps drawer to find the “Wednesdays” and now look at the state of the world.”
“We sell them in packs of five that clearly state that wearing them on the wrong day will t-bone the earth into an alternative universe where all kinds of freaky shit could happen,” said Nathan Gusset, Head of Underpants Sales from K-Mart. “The only exception is if you go out for a big night on the turps on a Friday and wake up still wearing them on Saturday morning on your mate’s couch. The space time continuum understands that kind of behavior and adjusts itself accordingly.”
An unrepentant Trent Jason-Jason has announced plans to wear his Christmas themed underpants during this June long weekend, leading astronomers to keep a nervous eye on the path of that asteroid that’s heading towards earth.
Peter Green
bobvulture 