Crap Bird Forced To Share Zoo Cage With Six Other Bird Species

Australia’s least notable bird has once again failed to secure its own cage at the zoo and has been lumped into sharing accommodation with half a dozen other equally non crowd pleasing bird species. “Big show ponies like lions and tigers and pandas always get their own cage but apparently I’m never important enough,” complained Gary, an Eastern Dimbulb Sparrow from his crowded aviary at … Continue reading Crap Bird Forced To Share Zoo Cage With Six Other Bird Species

Solo Round The World Yachtsman Admits To Just Sailing Over Horizon And Waiting For A Year

A yachtsman who claimed to have sailed solo around the world has confessed that all he actually did was sail over the horizon and drop anchor for a year before sailing back in to the same port that he’d left from. “No way would I really sail solo around the world, there’s sharks and giant squids and hurricanes and pirates and all kinds of stuff … Continue reading Solo Round The World Yachtsman Admits To Just Sailing Over Horizon And Waiting For A Year

Pub Quiz Player Not Prepared For Question About Naming Santa’s Reindeer

A veteran quiz player was utterly gobsmacked when he was unexpectedly asked to name all eight of Santa’s reindeer at his pub’s Christmas themed trivia night. “Our table was 100% blindsided when Quizmaster Andy pulled that one out of thin air.” said trivia player Ted Johnson at the North Engadine Tavern’s Annual Yuletide Triviafest. “We somehow managed to get Dasher and Dancer and Donner and … Continue reading Pub Quiz Player Not Prepared For Question About Naming Santa’s Reindeer

Man’s Day Put On Hold Until He Finishes Counting Carriages On Passing Freight Train

The rest of a shire man’s day has been suspended until he finishes counting the number of carriages on a coal train that is currently passing through Jannali station. “Mate I’ve got bloke in the back of this ambulance who’s had a major coronary heart attack but we aren’t going anywhere till I’ve counted all of these coal cars,” said Kareela paramedic Sam Watson. “I … Continue reading Man’s Day Put On Hold Until He Finishes Counting Carriages On Passing Freight Train

Friends Amazed By Bald Guy’s Uncanny Resemblance To Other Bald Guy

Close friends of a follically challenged shire man have noted that he looks spookily like another bald guy they see around the place. “I swear Gerry and this other guy could be twins,” said Sutherland car horn detailer Ben Weatherby about his best mate Gerry Simonson. “I thought I recognised his big shiny scone in Cronulla Mall the other day and was about smack him … Continue reading Friends Amazed By Bald Guy’s Uncanny Resemblance To Other Bald Guy

National Gallery Replaces Blue Poles With Square Of RSL Club Carpet

The National Gallery of Australia has announced that it will be selling the iconic Jackson Pollock artwork “Blue Poles” and replacing it with a square of carpet from the floor of the Wagga Wagga RSL Club. “The square of carpet is a wonderful and rare example of the “action painting” genre pioneered by Pollock,” said head curator Vivienne Easel. “Just like Pollock’s best work it … Continue reading National Gallery Replaces Blue Poles With Square Of RSL Club Carpet

Shire Kids Sent To Sunday School So They’ll Get The Jokes In Their Christmas Cards

A survey has found that Shire parents are only sending their kids to Sunday school in the hope that they can learn enough about the nativity story to be able to get the jokes in humorous Christmas cards. “I don’t want my kids growing up to be churchies or anything but I do want them to be able to have a laugh at a reference … Continue reading Shire Kids Sent To Sunday School So They’ll Get The Jokes In Their Christmas Cards

Shire Man Feeling Like A Boss After Using Two 50c Coins Instead Of Dollar

An ecstatic Shire man believes it is impossible for his day to get any better after he managed to use two fifty cent coins to make a purchase instead of a dollar coin. “I’m now able to close my wallet again without working up a sweat,” said beaming Miranda bobcat driver Carl Donnelly. “When the lady at the cake shop said the nenish tart cost … Continue reading Shire Man Feeling Like A Boss After Using Two 50c Coins Instead Of Dollar

Shire Man Discovers Magical World On Other Side Of Floordrobe

A Shire man has found himself in a magical parallel world on the other side of his floordrobe inhabited by lions, witches and talking woodland creatures. “I was digging right down deep into the pile of clothes in my floordrobe looking for a reasonably clean pair of underpants when I suddenly found myself standing knee high in snow in a pine forest,” said Como West … Continue reading Shire Man Discovers Magical World On Other Side Of Floordrobe

Canberra To Once Again Be Punished With Summernats

The pleasant city of Canberra will once again be punished by the rest of Australia for being the nicest place to live by being forced to host the Summernats. “They have all the museums, the war memorial, Floriade, one of the best universities in the world and a cosmopolitan and well educated population, so we think it’s only fair that once a year every toolbox … Continue reading Canberra To Once Again Be Punished With Summernats